Pickup Tips

I've found a great way to pick up chicks and dudes at Kroger. First get at least two 12 packs of beer and then head to the meat counter. Ask for four packages of spare ribs. As he handed over the ribs the meat guy was mouthing silently "Take me with you". I pretended to not be able to read lips and mouthed back in Japanese "NOCANDO". The 50ish lady that runs the seafood department was batting her eyes double time at me as I eased away and fled down one of the aisles. I was only about 1/2 down the lane when a 30 something guy did a 180 with his grocery cart...."Dude...I'm totally following you to your house!!!". I lost him as I spun down the next aisle. At the check out counter, the middle aged black lady ringing me up said "Honey, I'm off duty here in about an hour". Again I broke out my Japanese and said as I grabbed up my bags "No comprende..Gracis and adios".

I Knew Something Didn't Look Right?

We had a new driver start not too long ago. A lot of the new drivers navigate with one of the new technical devices available. Garman, Tom-Tom, and the other new gadgets that tell you turn by turn how to get to your destination. Some drivers have their lap top riding shot gun and can look up the directions on Rand McNalley or Yahoo Yellow Pages (my favorite). Some drivers go old school. The handy dandy Atlas. Of course when you hire a driver out of West Tennessee, you would expect he would have a working knowledge of the locations of some cities...say Memphis..and let's throw in Dyersburg, as this is where this story is heading...also, hiring a driver that lives in West Tennessee, you might expect him to know pretty much the States that adjoin Tennessee...Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas...you get the drift...Well this new driver we hired was in Memphis delivering a load. I told him to take his empty and head to Dyersburg. I checked on him a bit later and the Satellite in his truck showed him to be around Stateline road. Stateline road as the name infers run along the bottom part of Tennessee and the top part of Mississippi (in the southern part of Memphis). As luck would have it, he called and was having trailer problems. Our terminal is near Stateline road so I didn't give it much thought. I told him to go back to the yard, get another trailer and head to Dyersburg, Tennessee. About one and half hours later, the new driver called and asked "I just passed a sign that said Batesville Mississippi. That's not on the way to Dyersburg is it?" My reply was, "No. Not really". I told him he might want to turn around and head back due north. "Yup, I knew something didn't look right". Luckily we in the trucking business have safe guards that protect us from drivers going in the wrong direction. In this case, our fail safe was the Gulf of Mexico. In most cases, once they run out of Terra Firma and are looking to have to book passage on a freighter, they will call into dispatch. I asked the new driver if he had an atlas with him....He told me that when he got ready to leave out that morning he didn't know where he would be going, so he just left his atlas in his car.....I'm glad to say after a heart to heart about never leaving home without his atlas, he has turned into a very fine driver....