Pickup Tips

I've found a great way to pick up chicks and dudes at Kroger. First get at least two 12 packs of beer and then head to the meat counter. Ask for four packages of spare ribs. As he handed over the ribs the meat guy was mouthing silently "Take me with you". I pretended to not be able to read lips and mouthed back in Japanese "NOCANDO". The 50ish lady that runs the seafood department was batting her eyes double time at me as I eased away and fled down one of the aisles. I was only about 1/2 down the lane when a 30 something guy did a 180 with his grocery cart...."Dude...I'm totally following you to your house!!!". I lost him as I spun down the next aisle. At the check out counter, the middle aged black lady ringing me up said "Honey, I'm off duty here in about an hour". Again I broke out my Japanese and said as I grabbed up my bags "No comprende..Gracis and adios".